The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:4-9

Our family is a circle of strength and love, with every birth and every union, the circle will grow, every joy shared adds more love, every crisis faced together, makes the circle stronger
- author unknown

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

While Im Waiting...

Well most of you who read this already know we had another failed IUI this month. Im just ready to blog about it now....Last Tuesday was one of the longest days ever. I had my pregnancy test early that morning but didnt get the results till around 3 that day....it was negative...again! I cried and I cried yet I still felt God's peace. I wont say I didnt question why because thats almost impossible to do. At that moment I just felt like I was done. I couldnt keep going through these emotions month after month. Thanks to some of the best friends ever for such uplifting and encouragement!! God knew exactly that I would need you!! Then after some time passed I knew we had to keep "trudging" on. Chad says he's up for it as long as I am, that he just hates to see me so upset. The next day it was bible study day, perfect day for it!! God still was giving me encouragement to not give up on him to still "be still" and wait. A verse that was shared that day in study again pertained to waiting on the Lord..."Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him.{Isa.~30:18)
Beth Moore said do not fret, just wait and long.... and thats what Im trying to do.
Friday came and was another let down... I went back to the Dr. for baseline ultrasound and blood work ready to jump right back in for another month of shots and an IUI to find out that I had 4 large cysts that were basically left over from the previous cycle of Follistim and being overstimulated....what a let down! I was ready to keep going but again for whatever reason God's plan is for me to continue waiting. I cant do shots this month due to those cysts, I will be taking birth control pills in hopes they will all go away this month!! I was very frustrated after I left that appointment but again I just have to step back and look at how faithful my God is and always been to me. I am so blessed. I have to be thankful for that and just continue to praise, worship, serve, and love him.... while I'm waiting.
Thought it was funny yesterday that I heard this song... Ive heard it before but its been a long time...it was actually in the movie fireproof. So when I heard it yesterday, it immediately touched me. Its exactly how I feel.....




I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

4 comments:

Beth said...

I'm so sorry Jennifer! I have been praying every morning for you and will continue to do so!!

one BleSSed gal! said...

Your faith, your willingness to share, your service in waiting & your HOPE are an inspiration to all who know you! You will never know how many people have been blessed to watch you thrive in God's love on this journey! That, sweet friend, may be the whole reason for this journey. Trudge on! Love you :)

Sarah said...

Jennifer, your faith is amazing. You have been and continue to be such an inspiration to me. Praying for you!

FireWife425 said...

Hey girl... You amaze me - your faith, your patience - it helps me :-)
Praying for you. Love ~ Nikki