The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:4-9

Our family is a circle of strength and love, with every birth and every union, the circle will grow, every joy shared adds more love, every crisis faced together, makes the circle stronger
- author unknown

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A very down in the dumps kind of day.........

This whole week Ive just been down, just over the whole not being able to get pregnant..... I knew it was probaly coming to this, I went through the same thing with Sam, but there was just hope and prayers that we wouldnt have to go down this road again. Everyone may be tired of hearing me talk about it, but it just helps to vent a little! And again I know how truly blessed I am to have Sam, I could be like others who are unable to ever have children! So today, my drs. office called in another prescription of my infertility med. and off we go, another cycle, another month that I will pray to God that it will be his will for it to happen this month!!!
My nurse told me today that Dr. Ru thinks if not pregnant this month, then Im off to the ART program again, which is in Birmingham and that is where we went to get help with getting Sam here! The most frustrating thing this time is that my progesterone levels are much much higher than they were, and its still not happening!
Some people have said to me are you sure you want to go through this again, after all that I went through to get Sam (it was very complicated), others say to me just be thankful for Sam ( believe me I AM SO THANKFUL, he is such a blessing and I love him with all my heart) I just feel that I am meant to be a mommy again!!!! Right now I wish I could truly say and mean it, "well if we dont get pregnant again, its ok I have Sam" but I just dont feel that, I want Sam to have a brother or sister so bad!
Ok, I know thats enough, Im going on and on, but like I said, I just needed to vent a little! Please dont think Im sounding selfish....... I really dont want to sound that way!
Please keep us in your prayers, that what is meant to be, whatever Gods will be for us, that it will be and I will have strength, and faith to deal with it all!

~Jenn

4 comments:

Memaw Barbie said...

I am praying that God will either allow a pregnancy or he will give you peace. It is miserable to want something so badly and not to have a peace about it. I have been in a similar situation and God answered my prayer. He gave me peace I don't know when it came, but it is so sweet to have peace in a difficult situation. Blessings

Amy George said...

Jennifer,
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. And you don't have to apologize for wanting another child. I know you love Sam, but it's also okay to want another child. I know how frustrating the fertility struggle can be. I am praying for you!

Amy

The HoneaBees said...

The Lord knows us and provides for us...it would just be nice for him to give us a little insight sometimes, right? I am praying for you Jennifer!

Love my 2 BoYs! said...

Thanks so much everyone for your prayers, I know he hears all of them! Im trying to be strong and faithful, and remember in HIS time not mine!
~Jennifer